responsibility

The kettle should pop when I want it to. Thr winter should not be cold. The heart should feel light in the morning

The boyfriend should pounce me at night

the friend should invite me out drinking

the world should give me money for clothes

I should make a list of books to read when I get time

I should clean up let down my short long hair

beautiful?

so, I've heard we should not be responsible for one another's happiness...and yet we are encouraged to think about what will make the other person happy and do it.

and I've heard this thing about responsibility being a bad word, that it should mean response-ability....

and now i'm just lost.

because all i know is i feel like i'm controlling him, making things his fault...not enjoying what he offers to me, what comes freely.

love yourself

i'm always waiting for someone else to help me save me. why? I can't do it. why not? Something is just too much for me. it's going to break or be horrible.

i can't

\

i'm not capable. i am not good at things.

(there's an irony in that)

a real irony