and then I was walking home, listening to Tori again. I always listen to Tori. and I was listening to her talking about Love, about how we make up our own realities...and I got to thinking that's why I like her. I mean, I like the music but other music doesn't make me feel so at home - and it's what she's saying that counts.
and I don't say much
So here I am
trying to say things.
Say everything.
I was thinking about starting yet another blog, another book, with that title.
my brain hurts from trying so hard.
Honestly, who cares what I think!? why stress about it? and really,
stop. I'm just scared to say something stupid.
something stupid
haha.
I think people should include one another in their fun, that belief is overrated. Do I really?
question everything.
I wish I could reach back in time and pull out my self presence. It's like my mind hasn't quite caught up with my body yet. Like I am moving in time but I still think I am somewhere I was once - maybe on holiday in cape cod. I felt present there.
like myself. moving in time, with time. not just through it. and I was unsure, and certain at the same time. certain I was worth something, unsure of what was happening and what was going to happen.
I am sitting in the living room here of this apartment, his apartment, and I feel I cannot express myself except to be his girlfriend and a good daughter. I need more than that. I need more for me.
I must learn to live for me.
I know that sounds critical and pressure-y. and maybe it is.
that's me.
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